She is not anyone's favorite person. She knew that her mother favors her younger sister; her younger sister who is kind, soft-hearted, and warm; unlike her, who is stubborn, strong-willed, and unempathetic. She is not her mother's favorite person. She knew that her father favors her youngest sister, to whom her father shows his affections … Continue reading Everyone’s favorite person
The smell of lies
So, the truth is, I could smell lies. At first, I thought I might be just having a rather sensitive nose or something. Going to school, I knew this neighbor was making scrambled eggs or that neighbor was just opening a rice cooker full of cooked rice steam. I often wake up in the morning … Continue reading The smell of lies
A lake of insecurities
Loving yourself, treasuring yourself, and respecting your own self is not something that comes naturally to everybody. Being a third year PhD student with zero publication is…well, indescribable. Rejections are hard. It makes you wonder what is wrong with yourself. It makes you question your worth. It makes you feel like you are drowning in … Continue reading A lake of insecurities
Unscar the Wounds
Not sure why, but today I remember something I overheard years ago. I cannot remember words by words exactly, but at that time, someone said something like, “We shouldn’t discourage the loners; those who are mostly by themselves. We shouldn’t tell them to join the crowd either. This also applies to those amazing, confident, but … Continue reading Unscar the Wounds
Daydreaming
As a child, I used to imagine I would be somewhere else, other than home. The situation wasn’t that bad, actually, but it wasn’t that good, too. While reading C.S. Lewis’ books, I wished I was in Narnia. Not that I love the animal, or the talking-animal, but I just wished to be there. While … Continue reading Daydreaming
A borderline
It was a dark, cloudy, windy morning. I walked to school as usual. I passed my neighbors’ houses, my friends’ houses. Nothing was different, except the fact that everything seemed so quiet. I saw nobody until I arrived at the school yard. There I saw the headmaster. He smiled at me. “Is today a holiday, … Continue reading A borderline
A nanoscale photographer
Last year, my PhD advisors gave me a mission: becoming an expert in SECM. And that’s what I have been doing in the past few weeks: undergoing a training. SECM is not easy to master. I don’t remember how many people have told me about how difficult it is, how vulnerable the system is, how … Continue reading A nanoscale photographer
A half-me
Few days ago was my first TEM experience. I have been interested in TEM since years ago, but never had a chance to do it by myself, or even just come and see how someone else do it. No. Never. That’s why whenever some lab mates present their TEM results, I have tons of questions … Continue reading A half-me
The Law of Entropy: Exclusion
There is this one thing that does not obey the Second Law of Thermodynamics: human's emotions. People love, then unlove. People hate, then unhate, then hate again. In the morning they despair, in the evening full of desire. Only one heart they have, but limitless love they can grow. It can be so sincere and … Continue reading The Law of Entropy: Exclusion
The Law of Entropy
Entropy, disorder, information loss, etc. Several times I mentioned that the Second Law of Thermodynamics is my favorite law of physics. Eggs do not unbreak; candles do not unmelt; people do not unage; etc. The laws of dynamics (either classical or quantum mechanical) are time-symmetric, but why the Second Law of Thermodynamics isn't? Writing it … Continue reading The Law of Entropy
no longer human 